OMG what is up with cube noise?
One row behind me to my right is MR. SNORTLES, a young fellow who either: snorts coke, has a bad case of sleep apnea while napping at his desk, or really has atrocious allergies. Each afternoon around 2-ish the whale snorts start, I'm talking from the tips of his toes deep snorting folks. I'm thinking of taping it and putting out a nature CD "Sounds of the Scottish Walrus' Mating".
Across from me on my right and in front of Mr. Snortles is MS. HUMDINGER. A very young girl who hums songs she has no idea have actual melodies. It's a lovely high-pitched glass-etching sound. MS. HUMDINGER's first name is STOMPY. She has an extensive collection of stilleto heels and loves loves loves to STOMP her canal boats on the tile. Sounds like a horde of Mongolian ponies arriving late for dinner.
Somewhere on the other side of the floor lives MR. GUFFAW. I will find where he lives and joy buzzer him to death soon. He waits until its so quiet a nun will fall asleep (oops there goes MR. SNORTLES) and then lets out a single "HAW" loud enough to wake the dead (in Jamaica).
All I'm saying is it's a good thing I'm perfect.
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1 comment:
moly MOG I'd kill them all! I. need. silence.!!!
Where's my tag?
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